避免大父母的错误

订阅我们的每月时事通讯并免费获得 “ 5个GRANDMA BLUNDERS,以及如何避免它们!”

母亲’s Day Dilemma

I have a 母亲’s Day dilemma and need 您r advice. I’m trying to decide whether to spend 母亲’s Day with my mother or my daughter. Which raises the question — Is 母亲’s Day for me or for my mother?

如果您是 “俱乐部三明治”一代 (those of us in our 50s or 60s sandwiched between aging parents, adult children and grandchildren, or those in their 30s and 40s, with 您ng children, aging parents and grandparents,) 您 may be facing a similar dilemma. Do I honor my 95-year old mother and 庆祝 母亲’s Day with her? Or do I 成为一个庆祝的人,和我的女儿和两个孙女一起度过一天?

I know what my heart wants and what would be way more fun — spending the weekend with my daughter and granddaughters. But my dutiful daughter voice wonders whether this might be my mom’s last 母亲’s Day (She’s actually in excellent health) so I should spend it with her.

On the other hand, who says we have to 庆祝 母亲’s Day 上 Sunday, May 13? Or even at 所有? Hallmark has turned a day of honoring mothers into the most commercialized day of the year.

我每周拜访我妈妈。我总是给她带来两束秘鲁百合花(最近两周),它们是新鲜的覆盆子,两个蓝莓松饼和一些克莱美汀。我们在社区餐厅一起吃午餐。每周坐在轮椅上或步行者停在桌子旁的角色都是相同的角色。我大部分时间都在讲话,当我用完新闻时,我们只是保持沉默。午餐后,我们回到她的公寓,玩了一个小时的 鲁米库布,她最喜欢的游戏之一。她经常打我。

我的另一个选择是与女儿和孙女一起度过整个周末。他们住在更远的地方,我每个月只能见一次或两次。它们充满乐趣,带给我纯粹的喜悦和喜悦。

母亲’s Day曾经是一个简单的概念:这是特别的一天,我们要感谢母亲和所有母亲’全年为他们的孩子做的事。但是不管它多么简单’应该是,实际上不是’t。所有这些不同的母亲都在发挥作用:丈夫’s mother, the wife’的母亲,也许甚至还有继母。您如何与生活中的每个母亲一起庆祝,自己仍然过着特别的日子?

临床心理治疗师Deanna Bran博士说,当您与生活中的各种母亲建立了良好的关系时,执行这种平衡动作可能会非常困难,但是如果您不这样做,则很可能有人会感到被排斥或以某种方式被骗-您的母亲,您的岳母甚至您!但是,不管为什么假期可能给您带来压力,都知道您确实可以采取某些措施将假期从痛苦变为奇妙。这里’s her advice:

Advice for Enjoying 母亲’s Day

退后一步。 所有妈妈都需要退后一步,意识到这是一个复杂的假期, 大家 — for 所有 kinds of reasons. Taking difficult situations personally will not endear 您 to anyone nor will it help 您 get what 您 want. Even if 您’re a fabulous mother, keep in mind that 母亲’s Day is not just about .

弄清楚你想要什么。 在母亲节之前花一些时间,想一想假期对您的真正意义,以及您如何真正希望成为母亲而得到认可和认可。然后考虑这是否必须在母亲节本身发生。问问自己,是关于获得认可,还是关于“一天”?特别是如果您有成年子女,则在该星期日的前一天或该日之后的日子庆祝可能会使您与他们在一起的时间更加专注于您。

事先与您的配偶或成年子女交谈。 Talk to 您r adult children — or if 您 have children at home, talk to 您r spouse — about 母亲’s Day before it comes. Explore the options for this day and decide well in advance both what specifically 您 want to do and how 您r family will handle celebrating 所有 the different mothers in 您r lives. Reach an agreement and tell 所有 the respective mothers involved how 您 would like to 庆祝 母亲’s Day with them. That way, even if 大家 isn’t overjoyed with the plan, no 上 e will be unpleasantly surprised.

慷慨大方。 母亲完美吗?不。有些母亲做得比其他母亲好吗?绝对是但是请记住,尽管有这些事实,母亲仍然是母亲。请记住 所有 您母亲中的母亲仍在尽力而为(或已尽其所能),其原因更多。因此,即使您不认为这些女人是模范母亲,也请记住您可能怀有的不满情绪,并愿意以某种方式在这一天承认他们。

为自己做点事。 是的,这一天应该让所有孩子都承认并庆祝他们的母亲,但是谁说 can’t 庆祝 您r own status as a mother? Especially if 您 won’t be with 您r own children 上 母亲’s Day, think of something 您 would like to do for 您rself to acknowledge 所有 that 您 are — mother, spouse, friend, sister, daughter, and so 上 . Give 您rself permission to indulge 您rself a bit, no matter what else happens or doesn’t happen 上 that day!

Taking 上 e or more of these steps will give 您 a wonderful opportunity to shift the 所有-too-frequent tensions associated with 母亲’s Day (such as stress, guilt, hurt, and obligation, to name just a few) into something that can feel good to 您 and 大家 else in 您r family. After 所有, isn’t that part of what the day is about in the first place — being able to really 庆祝 some of the most important relationships in 您r life? If 您 keep that in mind, this 母亲’s Day is bound to be 您r happiest yet!

怎么办’您对我的建议?我应该和我的母亲还是女儿一起庆祝?

我们收到的一些荣誉

滚动到顶部